Day 8--Pigeon Forge and Gaitlenburg, TN

On our way through Smoky Mountains National Park we stopped off so Leslie could indulge one of her favorite pastimes--Spelunking! Not the, "get into a pair of heavy overalls, don a headlamp and heavy gloves and go exploring in pitch black, unexplored caverns type." She likes the ones where there is a guided tour, the formations of stalactites and stalagmites are lit up and the only pitch darkness is when the inevitable moment when tour guide tells everyone she is going to turn the lights off for just a moment so you can experience total darkness, which always gets a big reaction--little shrieks and people grabbing onto total strangers.

I don't mind the ones led by the National Park Service but some of the privately owned ones that don't seem to have the same standards of safety. . .oh, fine, so I'm chicken. I just don't need to think about being a hundred feet underground knowing that eventually that hundred feet of ground will fill the void I am standing in.

So Leslie took the tour of Tuckaleechee Caverns on her own. I tucked in for a nap and read my book while she went off on the hour and a half tour. She enjoyed it. She always does. She says she wants to be able to say she's been in a cave in every state or something like that. I think that's great!
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I suppose that once upon a time Pigeon Forge, Tennessee was a sleepy little vail tucked in amongst the Smoky Mountains with smoke wisping out of rustic little log cabin chimneys while skinny little ragamuffins with dirty faces and bare feet clung to their mother's apron strings and banjo and fiddle tunes played in the background somewhere.

At least that is what Dolly Parton, famed country singer and a native of that community would have you believe. But if it ever was a place with that description, it isn't anymore. Dolly hoped to bring jobs to her community and put on a display for the country charm that was her native home. She did that alright. Unfortunately, she also managed to pave over that paradise and turn it into a three-ringed circus.

We turned onto the main street of Pigeon Forge after a scenic drive through the beautiful Smoky Mountains and found ourselves driving down a divided four lane road in bumper to bumper traffic. "This ain't nothin'," said a merchant we spoke to. "You should see it on the weekend."

The street was lined with every imaginable tourist trap. Dolly Golf, Big Jim's Pancake House, Pigeon Forge Collectables (cheap t-shirts and bumper stickers), followed by another cheesy souvenir shop or a fun house or a sleazy family fun establishment or a. . .well, maybe you're getting the idea. Bottom line, don't go!

It took us an hour to get through Pigeon Forge and the five miles on to Gaitlenburg which turned out to be much like Pigeon Forge except it was only two lanes wide. That just made getting around even more difficult. The shops had classier fronts, but these more upscale facades only hid the same cheesy shops found back in Pigeon Forge.

We never-the-less stayed the night having made reservations ahead of time. Our hotel was inundated by Wee Little Miss competitors and their families. Dear God!

We managed to find a quiet surf and turf place to eat a block off the main road through town. It was fine but you'll note I don't mention the name. Just don't go to Gaitlenburg. Keep driving through to Asheville, North Carolina. It'll take another couple of hours to get their but trust me on this one.

The next morning we packed up early and headed towards Asheville. The early morning traffic was easy, a sign I suppose that everyone was still tucked into bed after a late night of fun in Gaitlenburg!
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Next Up--Beautiful Asheville, North Carolina